


Little Chunk Of Hope

by kkachhoww



Series: Sleepless Nights and Ringing Ears [1]
Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: American Sign Language, Deaf Character, Disabled Character, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Old Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkachhoww/pseuds/kkachhoww
Summary: Hanschen and Ernst were best friends until Hanschen and his sisters moved away. Fast forward 7 years later, and they finally reconnect.--stuff bc my tags aren't working: modern au! tags added as the story progresses! appearance wise: andy as hanschen, joshua as ernst, austin as melchior, taylor as moritz, and others are up to interpretation! ernst is the only deaf one of the boys. ernst is also very eloquent with his words!title inspired by jack stauber





	Little Chunk Of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello! this is a rewrite of someone i wrote in 2016 and posted on wattpad. if this seems familiar, thats why! anyways, im trying to update as much as possible! thank you for reading!

It seemed very unlikely that Ernst would end up in the same apartment block as his his childhood friends. There he was, in the his living room with Melchior Gabor, Mortiz Stiefel, Otto Lammermeier, and Georg Zirschnitz. Ernst didn't think he'd make it into the nearby University, and he didn't think he'd make it without his best friend, Hanschen.

Hans Rillow, albeit suave and sultry, was a awkwardly beautiful boy with a dry sense of humor. He didn't speak in class unless spoken to, and outside of class he only spoke to Ernst and Robert. Robert Maler was the school eye candy, and Ernst knew he had no chance against him when it came to Hans. Hans and his sisters, Thea and Melitta, moved away freshman year. Hans didn't have a phone at the time, and neither did Ernst, so they lost contact. It was a shame, really. Ernst lost one of the only people who blindly cared about him. He was the only person in primary school who knew sign language and conversed with him. Ernst held that boy deeply in his heart.

Ernst's living room was bustling with life from the four other boys. Georg has brought his keyboard over to play around on, and was doing horrible renditions of “ _Minuet_ ”. Otto had hijacked Ernst's computer and was playing Overwatch. Melchior and Moritz were dancing with each other to the clunky “ _Minuet_ ” playing in the background. Ernst didn't know how to feel about this commotion. By now it was all muffled and distorted, as he had turned down his hearing aids due to sensory overload. Earlier today, he was fine with everyone coming over for a boys night. Now, his mind was spinning with thoughts of longing and grief for someone who wasn't even dead.

“Hey, guys,” Ernst's soft and timid voice rose over _Minuet_ and giggles. He quickly gathered everyone's attention, besides Otto who was too invested in his game to look up. “ ** _I think it's time for everyone to head out._** ” He signed wearily, turning up his hearing aids in case a verbal response was coming.

Groans from Georg and Melchior soon ensued, but a worried smile spread on Moritz's face.

“ ** _You okay?_** ” Moritz spoke and signed back to him. His eyebrows were furrowed into a look of worry and care. He was the closest friend Ernst had at the moment. He was always looking out for the other, making sure he went to bed at the right time or woke up in time to get the class.

Ernst quickly signed back, “ ** _It's nothing. I'll text you about it in case it plagues my kind through the night_**.” Moritz nodded in response, going to Ernst and kissing his forehead tenderly. They really loved each other, in the platonic way that didn't bring butterflies but instead brought warmth.

Once everyone left, although it did take Otto a moment to log off of the laptop, Ernst locked the door and turned off the lights in the living room. Every room, besides the bathroom, followed suit. Changing into just his underwear and a t-shirt took a weight off of his shoulders. The restraint of a button up and trousers made him ache. The fabric was itchy and not pleasant, but a t-shirt and boxer briefs made everything feel so much better. However, laying down in bed Ernst found himself tossing and turning to get comfortable. With an exasperated sigh, Ernst grabbed his phone and DMed Mortiz through Instagram.

earnest_robel: I'm thinking about Hans Rilow.

Almost immediately, a response came back.

more_ritz: little hanschen rilow?? the same guy who recited shakespeare to crude drawings of women?? that hans????

earnest_robel: Yes. He was my best friend before you. I miss him dearly, but I cannot find him on Facebook or Instagram.

more_ritz: have you googled his name, perhaps? lemme do some digging and i can see what he's up to. i heard rumors from melchior that he was doing porn now!

Ernst's chest tightened at that. He left Moritz on read and went straight to PornHub, typing in “Hans Rilow ” to the search bar. Popping up were shameless videos of his childhood best friend with men, women, and sometimes both at the same time. His breath hitched as it sunk in what he had just found. The noirette clicked on the first video, it was one of those “casting couch” videos. Hanschen sat in the middle of a leather loveseat, wearing a pale pink button up and ripped jeans. He had a sly grin on his face, his lips a faint shade of maroon. His chiseled jaw and cheeks were dotted haphazardly with beauty marks.

Everything about him was gorgeous to Ernst. Ernst zoned out, watching Hanschen speak and flirt. It wasn't until the actual porn aspect of the video started did the noirette realize what was happening. He shamefully closed out of the video as Hans was undressing, frowning as he did so. He check his DMs from Moritz.

more_itz: hans rilow is a pornstar!

more_itz: i cannot believe this

more_itz: this is amazing, he looks much cuter than he did back in grade school!

Ernst liked the messages before setting his phone down on his nightstand, breathing in a sigh as he sat in the dark. He looked to his ceiling, which was decorated with those childish glow in the dark stars and planets. Moritz had decided to stick them up there so Ernst would have something to remind him of his best friend. Ernst thought and thought about this newfound revelation. Hanschen was a pornstar. Ernst always thought he'd grow up to be some kind of actor or performer, just not something quite as lewd. Hanschen hadn't aged a day either. His sparkling cerulean eyes still had that youthful twinkle in them as they did when he was 14. Ernst didn't really sleep well for the rest of the night.

***

The next few months went by quickly. Ernst did surprisingly well in the academic portion of school, with a little help from Melchior. The arts side of school, now he was passing with flying colors. Ernst was an artist, dabbling in all media. He had a container of air dry clay in his apartment, along with several canvases and easels with paintings out to dry. He always brought a sketchbook along with him, and his hands were constantly smudged with ink or pastel.

The day his professor announced that his artwork had been selected to be displayed in a popular art gallery nearby, the noirette was almost in tears. The piece being displayed was some vent art he submitted for a grade, showcasing auditory processing in a painting he made at 3 AM whilst frustrated. Ernst wasn't completely deaf, he was still capable of hearing people with his hearing aids, but it was hard to process spoken words or noise. He was constantly overwhelmed and thanked God everyday for the volume slider on his hearing aids.

The exhibition itself was entitled “The Art of Being One's Self” and included art by disabled artists. Being in New York, the art was being viewed by A-list celebrities as well as the average individual. Ernst was thankful for the gallery selecting his painting, but in spite of his gratitude, he still had obvious anxieties over so many people see what he had painted. His classmates were coming to the exhibition, along with some of his friends. Moritz had made a huge deal about everyone attending this event to support Ernst. The little artist was forever thankful for the support.

Ernst was expecting to see familiar faces within the guests. He was standing near his painting, cradling a glass of white wine as he chatted with patrons. He was dressed up more than usual, with an embroidered blazer (courtesy of Mortiz Stiefel's amazing sewing skills), a slightly wrinkled white dress shirt, and cuffed jeans. It was out of his comfort zone, he never cuffed jeans, but he had to show off his art socks. They had Frida Kahlo on them, gifted to him by Wendla Bergmann before he left for university. He never found a chance to wear them before tonight, and he was content to show them off.

In spite of his close eye on everyone in the crowd, Ernst's gaze happened to skip over a familiar face. A lithe, platinum blonde haired woman stood by a large sculpture, she herself holding a drink. Her hair was cut short and her bangs were clipped out of her eyes-- tired brown eyes that were fixated on the sculpture, staring through wire-framed glasses and analyzing every inch of it. When Ernst noticed her, he thought that she seemed interested and moved by the art. She was scanning the sculpture with her mouth slightly open, squinting a little every so often.

Ernst didn't really understand why he was staring at the girl, until he was broken out of his trance by another woman coming over. The girl was around the same height and had the same overall appearance as the other, but her blonde hair was braided back and she did not have glasses. She moved her hands, obviously using ASL, flicking them forward and moving her middle and index fingers as if they were walking. Ernst quickly interpreted that as “ ** _Let's go over there_** ”, as they started walking towards him. He averted his gaze, feeling very awkward as he couldn't place who they were.

They were very familiar, but the noirette’s mind was spinning too quickly to pinpoint name to face. Ernst turned his back to the girls in order to catch his thoughts and figure out who they were. With no avail, he quickly messaged Moritz to come and assess who these girls were, and quickly put his phone away just in time to see another familiar face. This time, Ernst new exactly who it was.

Hans Rilow was at an art exhibition for disabled artists, standing a few feet in front if him. Ernst was gobsmacked, he didn't know if he wanted to run away or get Hanschen to notice him. He felt his face turning red and he took out his phone one more time to message Moritz.

earnest_robel: Hans Rilow is here. Those two girls are his sisters. I'm freaking out.

He clicked his phone off only to look up and see Hanschen standing right in front of him with a wide smile on his face. Ernst was taking in every bit of him that he could in the seconds after seeing him. He looked so much better in person, with his defined jaw and bright blue eyes. Ernst was noticing little things about him, his sun-kissed skin, his haphazardly sprawled beauty marks, and his neatly trimmed (but still thick) eyebrows that noticeably a little darker than his hair. Hanschen waved a hand by his face, then moving his pinky in a squiggle.

“ ** _Hello, Ernst_** ,” he signed, the end sign meaning ‘artist’, but Hanschen would use that to refer to Ernst since elementary school.

“ ** _Hello old friend!_** ” Ernst replied nervously, putting his drink on the floor behind him with his hands shaking a bit as he adjusted to seeing Hanschen again.

Hanschen's eyes wandered to the painting and back to Ernst, obviously trying to find something to talk about without being awkward. Ernst picked up on that, thinking, _I mean, it wasn't like he just moved away without telling me or leaving me any way to contact him_ \--

He was taken out if his thoughts by Hans signing, and speaking, quickly, “ ** _You did that? It's amazing! Thea mentioned something about hard of hearing people having a spot in this exhibition and wanted me to come along. Your art is so beautiful!_** ” He signed with so much enthusiasm, noticeably vigorous and exact with his movements. This made Ernst smile, as Hans was typically very slow spoken and mannered, taking his own time.

“ ** _Yeah, I painted it. It's very nice to see you here, I've been wondering all about you recently and then speak of the devil! You show up to one of the biggest events in my career!_** ” Ernst, however grateful and excited to see Hanschen, was nervously signing and doing the ASL version of stammering--moving his hands in attempt to sign words he couldn't figure out just yet.

“ ** _I've been thinking about you too, Ernst,_** ” Hanschen used his little identifier too (which made the noirette's heart flutter). “ ** _I’m sorry we haven't kept in contact. It's a shame, I bet that if our 14 year old selves had phones and could have messaged each other, we would've been married by now._** ” The Hanschen charm was back, and Ernst was _living_ for it.

As if driven by a motor, Ernst pulled out his phone and opened his phone to the “add contacts” screen, shoving it towards Hanschen.

The blond complied almost immediately, even taking a picture of himself to put as the icon. He passed the phone back, a grin on his face as he signed, “ ** _Moritz says he's coming to find you, by the way_**.” Ernst flushed red for possibly the 15th time this night, nodding his thanks as the lanky brunet came sauntering towards the two.

He looked worried, as if he was in _Mama-Bird Mode_ , as Melchior called it. When Hanschen spotted him, a sly smirk spread across his face. They started talking to each other, causing Ernst to turn his hearing aids up slightly and immediately regretting doing so. He turned them off for the night and stood awkwardly by Moritz and Hans as they spoke. His gaze wandered towards the girls--Thea and Melitta, he realized--and his eyes met with a pair of tired, brown eyes. Thea waved, prompting Melitta to smile and salute from behind her. Ernst smiled and nodded, giving them a wave before picking his drink up again. He rose to find Hanschen and Moritz ending their conversation, with Hanschen checking his smartwatch before muttering something to himself and tapping Thea and Melitta on the shoulders. He signaled for them to come along with him and leave, but before he turned to walk, he turned to Ernst. Hans waved a goodbye with a toothy smile, blowing a kiss his direction before actually moving to leave. Ernst felt butterflies in his gut as the shorter man walked away, his arms on his sisters shoulders.

Moritz turned to watch with him, leaning on Ernst and sighing. Moritz went to speak before realizing that Ernst could barely hear him, then tapping his shoulder before signing. “ ** _He asked me how much your painting was, he was interested in buying it. I said you'd text him._** ”

The butterflies in Ernst's stomach seemed like they were escaping through his hands and arms, and moving them would still the great escape and he'd be stuck with the fluttery feeling for the rest of his life. He then settled for a smile, sighing and slumping against his slightly shorter friend.

***

When Ernst texted Hanschen after the exhibition, he wasn't expecting an almost immediate response. The noirette, who had taken a shower and had dinner before he messaged Hanschen at 2 AM, had texted the other the price and a heart at the end of the message. Ernst was reasonably surprised when the message notification popped up with the name Hans had chosen for himself.

hanschen 💦: amazing! give me your information so i can send you the money for the painting.

Ernst did so, albeit a little hesitantly.

hanschen 💦: it'll be in your account by tomorrow morning. when it hits, let me know.

hanschen 💦: i can pick up the painting from the gallery tomorrow as well. maybe after i drop it off, you and i could get some food and hang out for a bit? my treat.

Ernst happily obliged, wanting to catch up with his friend. He wished him a goodnight, getting a “so soon?” in return, but also quickly receiving a “jkjk goodnight, artist. sleep tight!”  


**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending! im picking up the next chapter from in the morning (:


End file.
